Funny Reading
Top 10 signs your partner needs a vacation
Top 10 signs your partner needs a vacation
1) He keeps handcuffing himself by accident.
2) He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested.
3) He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he’d look good in a collar.
4) He talks to himself. Half of him is the “good cop”, and the other half is the “bad cop.”
5) He wants you to call him “Judge Dredd”, and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.
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The Wedding
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom ; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced ‘Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life..’ Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, ‘My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.’
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...One Liners For Men
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
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What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
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Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter
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There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads “We may never piss this way again.”
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Why dogs don’t marry?
Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
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What’s the diff between mother & wife?
One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
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Boss: I’ll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I’ll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Employee: In 3 months.
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A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say “Uh-huh” or “Yes dear” or “I’m sorry” ?
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...The Best out of office email auto replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2: I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Guardian Angel
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, ‘If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.’ The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, ‘Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.’ The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
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