Funny Reading
One Liners For Men
What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
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What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
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Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter
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There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads “We may never piss this way again.”
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Why dogs don’t marry?
Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
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What’s the diff between mother & wife?
One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.
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Boss: I’ll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I’ll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Employee: In 3 months.
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A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say “Uh-huh” or “Yes dear” or “I’m sorry” ?
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The Best out of office email auto replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2: I’m not really out of the office. I’m just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Guardian Angel
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, ‘If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.’ The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, ‘Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.’ The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5) Loading ...What do you think about Satan?
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, ‘What do you think about all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It’s probably just your Dad.’
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...9 Type of Girlfriends
Ms. Nice Gal - “Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn’t have”
Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat.
Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly.
Disadvantages: May wise up someday.
Old Yeller - “You goddamn spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can’t you see you’re making me miserable?”
Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell.
Advantages: Pays attention to you.
Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans.
Sickly - “Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite”
Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy.
Advantages: Predictable.
Disadvantages: Contagious.
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